Worst Jokes Ever
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
When did I realize COVID was serious?
When I saw your teeth social distancing.
What Spider-Man movie does an orphan like? Homecoming.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"
The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."
Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"
Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!
Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”
One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?
you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.