Worst Jokes Ever
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
Why couldn't the orphan watch Spiderman? He couldn't find his way home.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?
The tomato gets picked.
Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band.
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.
What’s the difference between air and a six year old?
Air has resistance.
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!