Worst Jokes Ever
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
Congrats to George Floyd on 2 years sobriety.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something good.
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉