Worst Jokes Ever

Dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”

My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."

My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."

"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.

I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.

What is the only place fat people live?

Obi-city.

Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.

Obv, unless you share your residence.

Pick a number, syckkkkkkk, that’s the wrong number.

All these jokes really hijacking my mind.

My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

A man walks up to Lil Johnny one day and asks, "If you had one wish, but that wish will be granted to everyone on Earth... what would it be?"

So Lil Johnny thinks real hard and long, then said, "Well, I would wish for me to shit myself."

The man is shocked and asks why, and Lil Johnny replies, "Well, I would be on the toilet. I think everyone else would just be confused!"

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

How do mountains see? They peek.

Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?

They all shoot people for a living.

What do women and KFC have in common?

After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Steven.