Best Jokes - Page 97 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why were the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.

Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?

Teacher: 203

Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?

Teacher: You can't.

Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?

Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.

The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?

Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.

Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.

Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?

Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?

Student: No, the alligators are at the party.

Sally dies anyway, how?

Teacher: She frowned?

Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.

What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?

My clothes don't hang themselves.

What do you call an orphan taking a picture?

A family portrait.

Q. What type of flour do orphans get?

A. Self-raising flour.

Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

Violets are blue, roses are red.

Last night your mom was giving me head.

John

Friend: Wanna hear a joke?

Other Friend: Sure.

Friend: Pussy.

Other Friend: I don't get it.

Friend: And you never will.

A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.

The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."

The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never eat anything that is family size.

What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.

Why can't Chinese play baseball?

Because they eat the bats.

Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.

A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.

“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

Pin drop silence in the class!

"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”