Ed is Ed in bed, full of head.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.
Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?
Because "family is everything!"
Q: Why do women only use their lefts?
A: Because they don't have any rights.
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
Your dad is gone.
Lucas is bronze 1 in RL.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because there is no home plate.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?
They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.
Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?
Viewers: Dora.
Trump: No, I am President Trump.
Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?
Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.
Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.
This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.
If you're bored, just punch an orphan!
What are they gonna do...tell their parents?
Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!
Voicemailing.
Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."
Boomerangs come back, but your dad never did.