Worst Jokes Ever
Your momma is so fat, she was in a movie and the screen broke!
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause it was stuck in the crack... *buttcrack*
I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.
A blind man walked into a fish market and said... "Hello, ladies!"
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.
Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Ganesha is an elephant.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
Don't free Britney!
I have (I HAVE) bolas.
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
What do you call Aston?
Asston.