Worst Jokes Ever
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.
This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.
If you're bored, just punch an orphan!
What are they gonna do...tell their parents?
Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!
Voicemailing.
Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."
Boomerangs come back, but your dad never did.
What did the pen say to the pencil? You have a point.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Me: *in a family meeting*
Mom: Ok guys...
Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA
Yo mama's ass is mad crusty!
What can hold anything on the moon? A crater.
When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?
SHUT UP!!!
What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post Office.
Michael farts. Jackson doesn’t.
You know how they said weight people can't jump? Check out the 9/11 videos.
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."