Worst Jokes Ever
One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!
So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."
I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but it came plain.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead; his update is just laggy because he is too far from the WiFi box.
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
People: You're ugly.
Me: Ok.
People: I hate you.
Me: Cool, IDC.
People: You're annoying.
Me: Good for me.
People: BTS is dumb.
Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!
6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.
Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.
I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: He wiped his ass.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??
Rollin' and Controllin'.
What’s Steven Hawkins' favorite song?
"Highway to Hell" because it’s a staircase to heaven.
One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.
Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).