Worst Jokes Ever
One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No," said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."
The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough," his grandpa replied.
The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself."
Your hairline goes so far back even Dora the Explorer couldn’t find it.
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?
Well, probably their kneecaps.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik’s cubes?
Because they have a history of separating colors.
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
How to get quick cash:
Step 1: Kill a child's parents.
Step 2: Do foster care for them.
Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.
You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.
I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.