Worst Jokes Ever
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
What is the difference between me and a knife?
The knife has a point.
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?
They both can't see their parents.
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
Why did Joe Biden visit Hiroshima? Because the city has the hottest prepubescent girls in the world.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and they got plain!
My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.
Who will be told? Oh wait.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
What goes Snap, Crackle, and Pop?
A neck.
I still remember my grandpa's last words; "Is that loaded?"
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."