Worst Jokes Ever

What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.

Yo mama so fat, when she ordered a water bed they gave her the Pacific Ocean.

"Don't worry! Life goes on."

"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."

what's the difference between a dog and a dad? The dog comes back.

What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?

"Here Comes The Airplane!"

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

Why did the orphan sleep outside? ... Because he gets to wake up to Mother Nature.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

An apple gets picked.

What's the best thing about an abortion joke??

No one gets offended.

Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!

Where do otters come from? Otter space.

Yo mama is so fat and old, when Jesus said "Let there be Light!" he told your mama to move out of the way!

Yo mama is so fat Thanos snapped twice.

I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.

My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.

I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.

What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.

A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.

I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...