What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
Worst Jokes Ever
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Did you know that new Teslas don't come with the new car smell?
They come with an Elon Musk.
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
Why did the emo cross the road?
To not get to the other side.
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."
What's the difference between me and a rope?
The rope doesn't hang from itself.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"