Worst Jokes Ever

I unfriended Paul Walker on Xbox because he was always on the dashboard.

A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife replies, “Change the damn diaper, you idiot.”

What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?

"This isn't ketchup."

Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.

What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?

Nothing, he just exploded.

My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?

What is long, brown, and cures depression?

A noose.

What goes 200 mph and is red?

Babies in a blender.

An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"

I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.

Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?

Wanna hear a funny joke? Well, that was why you were here... Here's the joke: Your life :)

I don't struggle with depression. Like at this point I got it down. I'm good at depression.

How do angels 😇 make holy water 💧?

They boil the hell out of it.

What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?

The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.

What is the difference between Joe Biden and a knife?

A knife has a point.

I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.

A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"

Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."

"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"

Gay jokes are not funny, CUM on guys!