Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

Repost

What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"

Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.

Mum: And that is?

*Kid walks out.*

*Kid comes back in with milk.*

Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not Susie!"

Morbid jokes

Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?

A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.

  • 0
  • How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?

    I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.

  • 0
  • What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

    One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"

    In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"