What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
Balls maker.
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.
Jackhammer McQueerson
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words: "You still holding the ladder, son?"
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.
During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!
Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?
You can pop their head off.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
