What’s an emo kids favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools
wate is a emo kids favorite Tool? A Roop
I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time I'd give your mom a coat hanger.
today my idiot brother screamed"ahhhhh im dead!' but it wasn't really, so i d3cded to make it a reality until my sister came.............................
AND HELPED ME! - for once but then two minutes later my mom showed up, we k!lled him right infront of her and she screamed! "DONUTS AND PIZZA FOR YPU AND MORE IF YOU GO TO MRS ROBERTS HOUSE AND SAY HI AND BYE TO DADDY!!!!! and she hands us both a sharp tool and i say what about tommy??!!! arn't u MAD!!!!!!! then she replied who's THAT!!??? COZ HE AINT MINE HIS NAME IS TOMMY, TOMMY ROBERTS. so then me and my sister visit mrs ROBERTS AND SHE SAID OH THIS ISN'T ANYTHING IMPORTANT GO HOME! so then my sister nd i say hi! and do a countdount aftr that my nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR , MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL!😊😊😊 but then the police question us where daddy was so then mom said....................... oh he's moved on! so then the police officer was like ahem ma'm where! SO THEN I BELLOWED.......................... UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit either🧐 i will ask my neibour nessy she'll obviously say YES or ill........................................
ok like for part two☺☺☺
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common? They both need a hoe to stay in business
Grandpa's last words,why do you have a chain saw
Some dude called me a tool
So later I got hammered and nailed his gf.
Guess he was right :/
credit to funnydude from laugh factory website lol
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps.on a cockroach. They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
I'll always remember my dad's last words... "Why do you have an axe? We live in the city!"
"We've invented the spade!" "Oh wow, this is ground-breaking!"
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It Sucks.
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole
A pedophile
The shovel is a Ground Breaking invention. *Slaps and laugh*
My pensil sharpener broke so now my pensil is poinless.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
Cause I’m digging that ass
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
