Tool jokes
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.
During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!
Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?
You can pop their head off.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
What do you call an opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
What do you call a flat emo kid?
A cutting board.
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.
What do robots 🤖 shave with?
Laser blades!
I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school.
A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.
Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"