Told jokes

I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."

How does she know I have that?

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.

My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!

I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?

He cracked up!

My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...

Me: Knock Knock

Her:

This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"