Told jokes

There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!

Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.

69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120

58008 (flip calculator)

Boobless.

My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(

"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂

My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.

Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.

I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

My friend thinks he is funny.

He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.

What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?

He cracked up!

My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.

I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎

I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"

My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!