A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?
It danced its a** off.
"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."
I saw Simba walking slowly....
I told him "Mufasa"
Yo mama so fat the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone no
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
Why did the students eat their homework
because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.
You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Somebody told me to type "Up" by Cardi B. So here it goes:
Up
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
