Told Jokes

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.

Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...

Me: Knock Knock

Her:

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.

My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"

My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎