My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."
"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂
I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...
Me: Knock Knock
Her:
The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”
Then she said that's true.
Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"
This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.
Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉
Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.
The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
