My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
Somebody told me to type "Up" by Cardi B. So here it goes:
Up
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.