Told jokes

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"

My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂

My friend thinks he is funny.

He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.

What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?

He cracked up!

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...

...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.

My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.

A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.

The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"

"What happened?" said the manager.

"A civil war."

A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.

I saw Simba walking slowly.

I told him "Mufasa!"

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

You know what I told my little brother plane?

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.