Told jokes

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(

"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.

I saw Simba walking slowly.

I told him "Mufasa!"

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

You know what I told my little brother plane?

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.

My friend told me I was so dark that I had no bright ideas.

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.

I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.

Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.

The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.