Told

Told Jokes

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.

The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.

Kid: I want to be like Batman.

Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

Genie: I told you.

Kid: .............................................

I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...

I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.