Told jokes

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.

I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...

Me: Knock Knock

Her:

I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.

My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"

My friend thinks he is funny.

He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.

My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...

...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.