Told jokes

Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.

So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...

Me: Knock Knock

Her:

This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"

I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."

How does she know I have that?

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...

...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.

He told me to stop going to those places.

I went to a handicapped comedy club, but all the jokes they told were special, and they didn't know a lot about stand-up at all.

My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.

The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"

"What happened?" said the manager.

"A civil war."