My friend told me I was so dark that I had no bright ideas.
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
You know what I told my little brother plane?
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D
You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.
Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.
I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.
