Told jokes

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎

My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.

Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"

What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?

He cracked up!

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"

My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.

I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

Why did the students eat their homework?

Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!

I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.