Told jokes

I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."

How does she know I have that?

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.

My friend told me I was so dark that I had no bright ideas.

I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.

My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.

I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D

My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.

You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.

Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"

Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯

Why did the students eat their homework?

Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"