Told Jokes

Simba was walking too slow so i told him to mufsa

Mom:its time for sleep.Baby:is that what you think huh.Mom:*gives baby pacifier*.Baby:nice try hobo.Mom:well ill come back later to see if hes gone asleep.*few hours later*Baby:*still awake* Mom:why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!.Baby:Lol i told you nice try haha

I told her "I love you". She said I love me too.

My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing so I threw her out the window instead

Im 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedofile. I told him to fuck off this is our 10th anniversary

My sis is very funny her fave joke is Nock nock who is there mr nobody mr nobody I just told you

my boss told me i have a preoccupation with vengeance...we'll see about that

So my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store so when I get there,there’s a sign but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick...she still isn't talking to me

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help. Later that week I ran into them on the dance floor, one of them asked me if I wanted to dance I told her no, the other asked me if I knew what was cracking, I calmly said the floor.

I was walking to the store and then this boy told me "I'm an orphan and I have no money" he wanted M&Ms I gave him Family sized

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person. So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.