Told Jokes

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents? They cry... They scream.. with joy "Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents" Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didnt live to tell the tail...

When we told twin towers to put on airplane mode we didnt mean a real airplane

I asked my dad, "are we there yet" and he told me "don't worry son it will be a short ride"

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% Graduation rate and he said "Your mom doesn't count as a college"

How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?

He CRACKed up.

I told this man to rev his vehicle.

Didn't know wheelchair's can't rev.

I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo. They never got together at all.

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said “what happened to all the parents?” She sounded so confused so i told her “its only yours kid, they left you on purpose” she cried i felt bad for a second and the thought oh well time to back to my job at the orphanage

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money bartender says you gotta do 3 task he takes the shot of Jack and the customer says what are the tasks he says the 1st one is but the 1st 1 is I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth and you gotta pull it he says all right what's the 2nd 1 he said I got a big old girl upstairs that aint had no loving in a long time you gotta make her smile he takes another shot of Jack he said all right what's the 3rd 1 he said you see that horse outside you gotta make him laugh and cry Guy goes upstairs goes out back comes out to the front comes back in the other customer said give him the jar The guy says I took care of that lady's tooth and I made that alligator smile well how'd you make the horse laugh he said easy i told him I had a bigger deck then him bartender says how did you make him cry he said easy I showed him

i told my friend an egg joke yesterday he thought it was eggcelent.

So you know The Lion King Do you remember Simba Well his dad is really strong and he walks really fast but Simba walks really slow So I told him to Mufasa

what is black and white and red all over answer: a newspaper that is what my 3 year old told me 😍

When younger girls say I want my period or it will not be bad

*eating chocolate in bed crying * 😂😂 My face at them when they say that 🤣🙄😵 Them I got my period *them hurting*. Me: told u

Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that grandma's ashes was sugar.

One day i was passing a blind man and i gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer next day i went for another walk and saw his grave

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number. We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden