Time jokes

To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊

So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn’t actually tell me the joke... I was the joke. 😭😭😭😔😔😔😒😒😒

Hey guys, it's cake time!

Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?

Yo mama so old that when she farts, she farts dust!

If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:

"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...

YOU WERE BORN!"

I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.

What is the difference between human rights and the Earth?

The Earth has been to be between two games a year after school, a time and fun game that has.

I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.

My sister said to me "I love him long time."

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?

Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.

Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.

The last time I ever made a joke was just now.

When you don't wear earrings for a long time, the hole can close, and it hurts so much when you want to put it back. 🙄🙄 😁😁😁🤣

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.

Weird.

Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.

The longer the relationship, the longer the breakup will hurt you. Better break up now ooo.🤣

If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.

One time, I was making a caramel apple.

When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!

Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."