Time jokes

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.

Why was 6 afraid of 9?

Because 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

One time, I was making a caramel apple.

When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!

After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,

Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?

The Munch Bunch.

One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.

Everyone thought I'd have a great year...

14 years just gave me more chances.

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.

Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone? In my theater we had a standing ovation!

Dad: Son, I came back.

Son: Where is the milk?

Dad: Time for another 10 years.

"What do you do with your free time?"

"I stalk."

"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."

"I know."

Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!

I hope every time you watch YouTube, you get 30 second unskippable ads!

Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.