You know I wish life was shorter?
I want it over.
Time Jokes
Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
Where are you right now?
Looking at a fake joke? You are a waste of time and space.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
The Past, Present & Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
What do you say to a clock?
"What time is it?"
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
Yo mama is so stupid, she had to retake preschool 20 times!
"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"
What is your favorite time of day?
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!
What time is it when you say "bad day?"
My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.
Why was 6 afraid of 9?
Because 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
