Time jokes

I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.

Yo mama so old that when she farts, she farts dust!

I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.

My sister said to me "I love him long time."

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Yo mama is so stupid, she had to retake preschool 20 times!

Why was 6 afraid of 9?

Because 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!

One time, I was making a caramel apple.

When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!

Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."

If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.

Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?

He got 12 months.

Worst joke ever.

I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!

The last time I ever made a joke was just now.

By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.

Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.

One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.

"What do you do with your free time?"

"I stalk."

"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."

"I know."

Your future.

Gwen, do you have to be so happy all the time? Even you don't get the joke!

80s (DYM 84)

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!