Time jokes
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
You know I wish life was shorter?
I want it over.
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
What is your favorite time of day?
What time is it when you say "bad day?"
"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"
Yo mama is so stupid, she had to retake preschool 20 times!
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
The Past, Present & Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
What do you say to a clock?
"What time is it?"
Where are you right now?
Looking at a fake joke? You are a waste of time and space.
My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."