Time jokes

Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.

Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.

Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone? In my theater we had a standing ovation!

Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!

Gwen, do you have to be so happy all the time? Even you don't get the joke!

Dad: Son, I came back.

Son: Where is the milk?

Dad: Time for another 10 years.

Everyone thought I'd have a great year...

14 years just gave me more chances.

One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.

"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."

80s (DYM 84)

Why can't orphans go on vacation?

The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

Your future.

"What do you do with your free time?"

"I stalk."

"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."

"I know."

Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".

I commented back to you and portory.

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because there is no Mother's or Father's Day.

Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!

PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(

Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?

It's about time!