Start Jokes

I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.

"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already

Whats starts with M and end with arriage?

Miscarriage Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?

Neither does the child

I'm starting to wish my grass was emo. Why? So it would cut itself.

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? they both start at 12.

So I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING

I started an emo salsa band We're called Hispanic at the Disco

👍🏼

Now that Stephen Hawking is dead the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.

A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

Patient: I'm starting to forget things Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? Patient: What condition?

I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig

The quiet kid starts playing Pumped Up Kicks in the parking lot before school.

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.

A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says "Oh what chest!" " That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says "Oh what legs!'' He says "That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says "Why were you running?" She said I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."

I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.

I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.