Time jokes
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
Where are you right now?
Looking at a fake joke? You are a waste of time and space.
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"Same time next month?"
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: "Ik zora cock!"
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."
Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
Past, present, and future walked into a bar... things got tense :). Pls send help, yet once again :).