Time jokes

Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.

Why did the boy shoot the clock?

The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"

What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?

It’s twelve o'clock.

I always talk to my taco before I eat it.

One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!

What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?

"It's pasture bed time."

Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.

Lady: What did you do?

Man: I took a day off...

Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.

How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?

Ten-tickles!

Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?

A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.

Sonic can run around the world in a second.

In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!

Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?

Teacher: Where's your homework?

Student: At home...

Teacher: What's it doing there?

Student: Having a better time than me.

Have you ever been eight before?

You were between 7 and 9.

What is always moving but we never see it walk?

Time! Hahahaha!

you.

What ended in 1999? 1998.

This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.

But I realized I can't see him. LOL!

This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).

My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).