Time jokes
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
Have you ever been eight before?
You were between 7 and 9.
What is always moving but we never see it walk?
Time! Hahahaha!
you.
What ended in 1999? 1998.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."