An old professor’s class used, to begin with, a dirty joke. Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began. When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of wh*res in Newfoundland?” With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door. “Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist
Me: I'm depressed so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We’d like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.
Life is better without my dad annoying me(him smacking me,screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more
Crying babies are like parties, No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside
My son wore his new 'Go Vegan' Hoodie for the first time today and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked & spat on!!!! And he's not even left the house yet!!!
I added Paul walker on Xbox...
But he spends all his time on the dashboard
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over
Why don’t old people have sex
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old
I went to jail because i gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days
(i deleted mother's day and father's day)
LEGO Ninjago - I like it okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him (he uses hair gel as Cole has said a couple times I think, bc his hair looks like fire 🔥)
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
"when is the best time to commit suicide" ate a Glock in the morning
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy and I was home alone with my dawgy, and, and I was eating peanut butter, and I thought since its oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part, and my dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter up off my private part, and my private part, it got big and hard, and then peanut butter, but white came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining. And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted “What are you doing?” And then I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, “Well let me have a taste.” And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
I asked my Dad the other day.."At what age is it ok to have sex with girls?"He replied "When they leave school son, they are legal" Apparently 3.15pm is not what he meant.
In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills. The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation. The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue. In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls? They don't have water.
I found the best Gofundme https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
