Things jokes
Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
The thing my mom birthed.
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?
Well, they weren’t always orphans.
Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"
Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.
This is my name: watersharky!
What is this thing with Alya and Alex?
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.
What does the ocean do to its friends? It waves. (*Sorry, I wasn’t making any jokes for a while. I was getting sick of this thing.*)
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
Question: What's the smallest thing on earth?
Answer: Your brain.
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.