Things jokes
What is this thing with Alya and Alex?
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.
Memes
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.
The thing my mom birthed.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
What was the last thing that went through PH's head?
Water and smoke.
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
What does the ocean do to its friends? It waves. (*Sorry, I wasn’t making any jokes for a while. I was getting sick of this thing.*)