Things jokes

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The silence.

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?

Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.

Tell it to your parents and friends!

Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

What does the ocean do to its friends? It waves. (*Sorry, I wasn’t making any jokes for a while. I was getting sick of this thing.*)

My sister lost two things today:

1: Her virginity.

2: Her job at the zoo.

What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?

Well, they weren’t always orphans.

Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"

Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.

This is my name: watersharky!

What are two things orphans can’t have?

Parents.

What is this thing with Alya and Alex?

What do Roblox bots do that's both a type of meat and an annoying thing?

Spam.

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.

Question: What's the smallest thing on earth?

Answer: Your brain.

The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"

The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."

The circular saw would reply with, "What?"

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.