They're jokes
These posts are brutal; they're leaving nothing left standing.
I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!
Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠
They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now!
Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?
Because they're basically zombies.
Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.
This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!
Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"
I guess bro wants our birth rate to turn into a perpendicular line. BP in a nutshell.
Why do orphans play GTA?
'Cause they're actually wanted.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
My family is like a cactus. They're a bunch of pricks.
I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."
The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
Technoblade: I'm the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans.
Quackity: What is the first thing to ever happen to the orphans???
Technoblade: Quackity..... they're orphans.
(Disclaimer: not funny xD)
Sister: "Has anyone seen my clothes?"
Brother: "They're still in my bed."
I complained to my landlord that carpenter ants were getting into the timbers. He was dismissive.
"They're Karen Carpenter ants, they don't eat much of anything."
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
I like whiteboards.
They're quite re-markable.
Don't give emos crack, they're high enough.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.
Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.
Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.
Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!
Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!
Love you-Iariah