They're jokes
Why do pizzas not tell jokes?
They're too cheesy.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."
He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."
Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."
Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
None of these are jokes... they're all facts!
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
How are Fortnite cards and orphans similar? They're given away.
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
Why do orphans play GTA?
'Cause they're actually wanted.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
These posts are brutal; they're leaving nothing left standing.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"