They jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll fuck you for $10." The boy says, “I would, but I don't have any money.” She says, “Ok, I'll take the duck instead.” He says ok, so they go upstairs and fuck.
The prostitute says, “That’s the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again.” So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and $25 for a fucked up fuck.
Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "Yes," and lifted up her dress. Then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.