They jokes
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll fuck you for $10." The boy says, “I would, but I don't have any money.” She says, “Ok, I'll take the duck instead.” He says ok, so they go upstairs and fuck.
The prostitute says, “That’s the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again.” So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and $25 for a fucked up fuck.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?