They jokes
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
I love vegans because they save more meat for us.
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?
A: They are not wanted.
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
So they can be wanted for once.
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.
Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.