They jokes
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
Why don't booties get invited to parties?
They tend to CRACK people up!
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
Why don't rappers struggle with geometry?
Because they have all the angles covered.
Why don’t rappers ever get cold?
Because they have so many fans!
Why do butts always win at poker?
They always hold the best PAIRS!
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always have BARS on their GPS.
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"