They jokes
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
Why don't rappers struggle with geometry?
Because they have all the angles covered.
Why don’t rappers ever get cold?
Because they have so many fans!
Why do butts always win at poker?
They always hold the best PAIRS!
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always have BARS on their GPS.
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
Why do asscheeks make great friends?
They always stick together!
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll fuck you for $10." The boy says, “I would, but I don't have any money.” She says, “Ok, I'll take the duck instead.” He says ok, so they go upstairs and fuck.
The prostitute says, “That’s the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again.” So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and $25 for a fucked up fuck.
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a NAVIGATOR dropping the beat.
Why do rappers make great fishermen?
They always have the best HOOKS.