What do orgasms and pulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
They Jokes
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
"Why don't skeletons go skydiving?"
"Because they don't have the guts... or the parachute!"
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the recording studio?
Because he heard they were dropping TRACKS.
How do you know if a rapper is hungry?
They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.
The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They wear their rhymes!
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because they could always count on their beats!
I hate autistic kids and ADHD people because they are stupid, special, retarded, brainless freaks, and they are stupid.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.
