You want some dead batteries? They're free of charge.
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
Q:What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common? A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warms up after a few strokes
What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They're both paid for a good finish..
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.
... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
Why are mountains 🏔 never serious?
Because they’re hill areas.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Why can’t orphans have a five-star GTA because they’re not wanted
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote " don't be dumb make sure they're numb and always use a condom!"
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common? They're both fun to flip off.
surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that they're arms don't get tired..
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit i forgot but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
I never get school shooting jokes. Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience
Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.
what does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
they're both predators
How do you make a orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till they're parents come home
what do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common
they're both hookers
