That jokes

People

    • So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are, and that's not anyone else's choice.

    BUT!!!!!!

    I personally have my own feelings on "churches and christianity". I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of Christian people, and I respect that! NO, REALLY, I DO. My best friend is a dumbass Christian just like you are, and I respect that's how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.

    As someone who isn't an Aussie, I note that Idfk what this is: "The people who defended Australia get 2 days, remembrance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community gets YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biased. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.

    I know and understand I will get a lot of hate from this, I also don't give a shit, but please remember that it's just my thoughts and opinion. Thank you for reading. :)

  • 5

    • Orphanage

    • What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?

    Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.

  • 1

    • Hair

    • What is the toughest part of the human body?

    Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.

  • 2
    • That memes

    Sex

    • My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10. Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That's the best I've done so far.

  • 57

    • Worm

    • I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

    About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

    I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

    Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

  • 0

    • Dirt

    • When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.

  • 0

    • Dishwasher

    • Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

    I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

  • 2

    • Pedophile

    • A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

  • 3

    • Idiot

    • Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?

    Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.

    Mother: Do you understand?

    Leo: No.

  • 1

    • Depression

    • Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?

    Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.

    My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...

    Vagina

    • An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.

    Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!

    Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.

    Doctor: I didn’t.

  • 0