That jokes

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?

...Ollie the clown!

Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.

People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.

Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.

I've seen them hanging all day.

I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.

I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."

Your mom is so fat, that burger.

What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?

Magic-cop!

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

Who needs April Fools?

When your whole life is a joke?

Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.

The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.

Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"

A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.

Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"

Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.

I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?" The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet." "Yeah, that's the one!"