That jokes

Octopus

Cousin: Hey, is that an octopus?

Me: Yes, what, it is just an octopus.

Cousin: Oh yeah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Octopus touch me!

Me: What, it is just one..... ummmmm dad cousin d[id].

God

If you argued that God was a woman, 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell.

Just to ask the other guy.

Talk about a male supremacist religion.

Break

Attention to everyone - I will be leaving for 3 weeks for a summer break. I will be back in 3 weeks. When I come back, I want someone to tell me everything that has happened over these weeks. (Gwen or Addison Banks).

Sincerely, watersharky.

Mum

Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.

Orphan

Why did the orphan chase the family? Because he was jealous that he did not have a family.

Titanic

Captain of the Titanic: “Where’s all that f***ing water coming from?”

Rhino

Here's some of my weird jokes:

What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.

Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.

Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.

Butt

How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:

Code

Secret code that Bin Laden sent to Obama but couldn't decipher!

It was eloHssA OllEH!!

Cheerio

One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!

Mama

Your mama is so skinny that when she went to go outside, the slightest breeze flew her all the way to New Mexico.

Boy

The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.

Cash

You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.

Rock

My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."