That jokes

Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?

What is a pizza that an orphan can’t have?

A family pizza.

The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

What was the thing that Beethoven used the most?

THE OVEN! (BeethOVEN)

What is an owl that wears armor?

During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."

The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!

Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.

Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?

I wake up and I find myself on the floor.

What did the corn say to the flying apple?

"That's corny."

Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.

Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.

Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.

One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"

The other said, "Do you have that many?"

What do you call an alligator that likes donuts? A donutator!

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

What do you call a dick that's too small to see?

Tick-tack dick.

Your mom is fat, and that's a joke.

"That's not my age; it's just not true.

My heart is young; the time just flew.

I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."

That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...

Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.