I went for a swim in the river that crosses Mexico, and I saw a Mexican, aka a wetback, swimming across. I asked, and he said, "I'm a wetback."
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."
"That was pretty DAD!"
Why don't Jedis make puns that often?
They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)
You know buddy, that is really...
boroning.
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
A car alarm went to the store.
Cashier: Hello.
Car Alarm: BMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAAAMAAHAMAMAMAMAAMHMMMMMMMMAMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAMMAMMMMMMMMMMM BBEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BWAAAAMAAA!
Cashier: That will be 10 Dollars, sir.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
What's dumb?
The Fetus Deletus joke!
Fucking hate that joke....
A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.
Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.
Joke: "7 8 9" (seven eight nine), why is 8 (eight) scared of 7 (seven)?
Answer: This is because; in "7 8 9", 8 is pronounced as (ate). So because seven ate nine, eight is scared that seven would eat eight also.
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
What happens when a Tandemaus evolves?
Friend: What's that white stuff coming out of the Pokémon Box?
Even the barber couldn't fix that hairline.
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa? The water gun.
