That jokes

What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.

Be grateful:

You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.

What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.

When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.

I said that I have been ill.

Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?

Yeah, he Pasta-Way.

Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.

Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.

Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

Chinese always proud of their principle in business.

The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?

Me: Word.

*School Shooter Walks In*

That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.

You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.

Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!