One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......
It’s a wood hulem.
That Jokes
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”
When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.
WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.
The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Polo G is the goat, but that means nothing to you.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
