That jokes

What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?

He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?

They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?

Deku: Hey, Todoroki?

Shoto: Wht?

Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?

Shoto: :)

Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.

I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.

He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.

What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?

A foreign exchange student.

What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Polo G is the goat, but that means nothing to you.

The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.

Your hairline goes so far back that it stretches the length of Ohio.

Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”

Friend 1: “Yeah.”

Friend 2: “Yea.”

Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”

Friend 3: “I love anime.”

Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.

Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

What might an aborted child want for Christmas?

..... a home that isn't a bin.

When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."

*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵

Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."

I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.