That jokes

Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"

Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"

Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*

Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"

Lady: "Let me do that."

Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"

I want a series too, that will be SANS-tastic!

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?

His arse.

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!

Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!

Yo mama so fat that the weighing scale said, "To be continued..."

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”

A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"

What do you call a banana that peels itself?

Appealing!

Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.

Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"

How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?

Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!

Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?

Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?

Bianca: It's Bianca!

Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?