That jokes
What picture is that?
Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?
Really?
Well, the one I fucked did.
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Yo mama so fat that she was the float in the Thanksgiving Day Parade with Kermit the Frog!
Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"
Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"
Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"
The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.
Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else…
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I'm going home now."
Yo momma so dumb that she thought Auradon was in "Varian And The Seven Kingdoms."
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.
The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."
Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.
Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.
After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.
Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"
The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."
I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.