That jokes

Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?

The knee caps.

Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"

So that way they feel important.

You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

You got the whole crowd of people laughing when looking at you.

That face needing some laughing pills.

What did Eve say to Adam?

"That is rock hard."

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

Were you born on the streets? Because that's where most accidents happen.

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.

I found a key that works for every door at my school.

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

Yo mama is so fat that when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.

Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.

Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?

Do you know Wildee?

What's that?

Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?

Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.