That jokes
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."
That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.
I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.
Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?
Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
Your hairline is so far gone that you could build a runway.