That jokes

Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?

He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A stick.

China shouldn't play baseball because that would take out the whole world with one bat.

Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.

What's the name of a crazy crap that wins everything? Winnie da Pooh.

Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.

Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.

Other family members: ...

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that?

One's alive at the bottom.

What's even worse than THAT?

It eats it's way out.

Wait it gets worse...

It goes back for seconds.

Just one more I swear...

It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!

Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.