That jokes

Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.

God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.

What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.

Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.

I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.

There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.

I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.

Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?

Is that my student?

Na! It is Jesus!

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.

Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.

Doc: What's wrong with that?

Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.

Is that a person over there?

Na, it's Jesus.

I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.

You're so ugly that your birth certificate is an apology.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?

"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."

I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?