That jokes
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
It's true though
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"
Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"
Arabs: WHO PUT THAT TOWER THERE... we must destroy it!
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.