That jokes

Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.

When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.

Just kidding.

Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"

Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"

God says, "You are what you are."

Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."

I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.

An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.

Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!

Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.

Doctor: I didn’t.

I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.

12 months of training completely wasted.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

A can't opener.

"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."

What do you call a German that can not see?

A Not-see.

What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.

Nah, North Korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes.

Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

Yo mama so fat that her belt size is the Equator.

Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks, she thought she could buy a star.

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.

You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.

What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?

For me, life.

What do you call an Indian that came home late?

A curfew muncher.