That jokes

Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.

When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.

Just kidding.

Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"

Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"

God says, "You are what you are."

Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."

I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?

Rolls Royce.

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

What did the Twin Towers say to each other?

Sorry if that offended anyone.

“I guess we are going down together!”

Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.

Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.

Me: Oh, I already tried that.

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

The fourth month (symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.

That day is called "April Fool's."

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me what you did?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.

Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.

Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.

Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.

Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.

If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.