That jokes

What do Israel and Epstein have in common?

"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."

An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.

Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!

Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.

Doctor: I didn’t.

For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?

"Chancel culture!"

What do you call a German that can not see?

A Not-see.

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”

"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno

They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"

An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"

The Scouser says, "Liverpool."

The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"

The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."