That jokes
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.
Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"
Guy: That's probably because you're single.
*New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.
*Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?
Yo mama's so gay that, after watching Aladdin, she tried to fly on a pride flag!
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.
Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought NASA is a gaming program!
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.
The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
The teacher says, "That's right."
The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
"That's right," the teacher says.
The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.