That jokes

That joke didn't land well, did it?

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.

Don't do suicide, that shit kills.

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?

Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!

You gotta believe me!

A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”

I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?

What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?

Look at that dino-sour!

Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”

Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."